It's just a wee problem…

"For God's sake, John, sit down!" You're obnoxious and disliked!

Science has proven that given the variables of viscosity, temperature, windage, flexibility, and the force of the fluid, it's difficult to accurately direct a fluid from a flexible tube to a given target. However, if the tube is attached to a fixed object at one end, and there's intelligence involved, one can get close enough to be effective.

Then why the devil do men's restrooms look and smell as though they've been hosed down with urine by the NYFD? Good God! Men must be whirling about Sufi–like while relieving themselves.

If you can't hit the target, go to a stall, and sit down. Statistically there can't be so many American men who are legally blind. How many legally–blind drivers are on the road? Have you "refreshed" yourself lately at any of the rest areas on interstate 5? Piddleburg.

If bad breeding is the cause for your spraying torrents of urine everywhere except the urinal, get psychological counseling to make right the wretched job your mother and father did raising you. Better, get a Stadium Pal, and empty the bag in your home toilet.

And while your at it, wash your hands. There's a good boy!